A confession I never thought I'd make

Get ready for my nerdiest post yet.

I play Dungeons and Dragons. I never thought I would write that sentence. Especially not as a 40-something. I promise this circles back to perfume but bear with me for a minute.

On my first date with André, almost two years ago, towards the end of the date when I was very sure I wanted to see him again, one drink had turned into three, and we were settled into a sushi restaurant not far from the bar on Haight street where we had met up, he started talking about Dungeons and Dragons. He played weekly with a group of friends and he was the dungeon master. I was on my best behavior and already developing a crush on him. Instead of defaulting to my teenage brain and immediately cracking a joke, I got curious and asked questions. He told me that D&D was about world-building and good storytelling. He knew I was a writer who cared about good stories and he found a way to explain D&D to me that made me understand the allure of the game.

When we talk about this now he tells people he was too old to date someone who wouldn’t accept his hobbies and he preferred to get it all out on the first date. And now, almost two years later, we have a monthly game of D&D with friends. I have been playing for over a year. It’s make-believe, problem solving, and fantasy. Depending on who you are playing with, it’s often full of filthy jokes, 12-year-old boy humor, and a lot of plotting to frustrate the DM.

Some fun moments from various games.

Getting to play like this as adults, trusting one another, trying to kill dragons, and sleeping with innocent NPCs, well it’s a really good time. It’s hard to get our small group together but I cherish the days when we can hang out and be nerds.

Michael and I during one of our early sessions.

But this is a place for perfume and I promised you I’d get back around to that. In D&D you create a character and you play that character for a campaign, campaigns can go on for years. Ours has been going for over a year. It’s one long story and like a chose your own adventure, you make up what the characters do as you play, and the DM puts all sorts of obstacles in your way and tries to kill you.

Here’s our adventuring party. André made this group shot of us with the silly name we chose for our crew (we used to be called The Mighty Butt Smugglers so this name is an upgrade):

When you create your character you pick a race, a class, and a backstory for them. Then you do your best to stay in character as much as you can during the game. When I get dressed in the morning of our sessions I always try to wear something that’s a nod to my character, Ramona, a Fey Druid. Sometimes it’s snake earrings and some green eyeshadow, sometimes it’s a dress that feels very woodland hippie. And of course, I always think about her when I choose my scent for the day. The last time we played I thought it would be fun to pair everyone with a scent from my collection that embodied their character. Here’s the result of that. Josh aka Reinhardt whipped up these graphics for me.

Ramona is a magical woodland creature who can communicate with animals. She’s tender-hearted and righteous. She comes from nature and to me she smells like a mystical forest. So I often reach for Stora Skuggen’s Fantôme de Maules, it’s her signature scent at this point. Fantôme de Maules is a green, dank, woody scent. And the story behind it pairs nicely with Ramona.

Stora Skuggen writes on their site that this fragrance is inspired by Maules, a small village in Switzerland surrounded by fields and dense forests and a figure that lurks there. It’s an enigmatic being, seen wandering the local woodlands, dressed in nothing but cloaked camouflage. Unaware of passersby, he spends his time picking and smelling flowers. The locals call him Le Loyon, but the character calls himself Fantôme de Maules. The ghost of Maules. 

This is Josh. When I first started dating André I told Josh about the D&D thing and asked him if it was a red flag. Josh, an admitted nerd, declared:

“No! I love it! We can go watch him play in D&D tournaments, do they have those?”

They do not, but I loved how excited Josh was that André played D&D so it’s fitting that he was there, also a virgin to D&D, learning how to play with me a year ago after we decided to ‘just try it once’. Josh plays a Paladin Human named Reinhardt. We joke that he’s a cop. A big beefy hot prince who isn’t always the most perceptive but is very moral and righteous. Josh loves bergamot and I thought Caroline Herrera’s 212 Men fit his character. It’s a straight forward and likable woody citrus fragrance. And while I wouldn’t call this a masculine scent (fragrance should not be gendered imho) you can’t deny the packaging really tries to make it so. And it weirdly matches his character’s armor. Like Reinhardt, it’s strong, dependable, and pulls you in.

This is Michael, who I call Little Edie for reasons I won’t get into here. He plays a Changeling Warlock, he’s mischievous and magical and is often the one to blast away the evil guys in our battles. His character made a pact with a god for his powers and if he goes against that god he suffers the repercussions. I thought he was one of the most chaotic players in our party but Andre tells me we are all pure chaos. He said Micheal is the best at really embodying his character in game play, so now I know what I need to work on next session. I wanted a dark and moody scent for Burin. When I asked Michael what Burin smelled like he said something a little churchy and incense-like. I pulled out my sample of Byredo’s Reine De Nuit and Michael said that was the one. With notes of saffron, incense, rose, and patchouli this fragrance lets itself be known when you walk into a room. It’s dark and moody and perfect for Burin.

Sue is the newest member of our group. She came in when we lost a beloved regular, Zelia, who had to move— but who will be returning in the Fall! Sue immediately fit right in, by far the most studious and punctual of all of us, taking excellent notes each session. Sue plays Lyra, an Eladrin Sorcerer who can harness the power of lightning and storms in her spells and battles. She’s also very magical and mystical with a strong connection to the Feywild. I wanted something a little electric and woodsy for Lyra and reached for Cédre Figalia by Atelier Materi, Sue smelled it and liked it but she thought it was missing a sweet note that fit Lyra. So I had her spritz a spray or two of Maison Mataha’s Escapade Gourmande on top. It’s a funny combo but one that worked surprisingly well.

And here is the person responsible for all of this, our Dungeon Master aka Dungeon Daddy as Josh likes to call him, André. DM’s control the whole show, they build the world you’re in and create the monsters trying to kill you on every quest. André is a very good and patient DM who spends hours before each session plotting and planning. We love him. But he’s also evil as a DM. And I thought he should wear something dark and musky. We both love Bohoboco’s Dark Vinyl Musk so I knew he wouldn’t object when I pulled that one out for him. André got me into D&D but I’m getting him into fragrance — which I think is a pretty sweet deal. I love that he’s curious and creative and I am extra nice to him on D&D days so he doesn’t try and kill my character.

This was the best smelling session we have had yet.